I'm 'Special' and possibly from China

I haven't decided yet how often I want to post these things-but I do have quite a few stored up and I'm eager to share them with you! I hope you are coming up with your favorite awkward online dating stories. Send them to me to share with the world, so we can all commiserate together! Strength in numbers, right? Email them to: awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com


Okay, on to today's story. We shall call him Antonio! I received this message in my okcupid.com message box:

-It got him 'excited' to send me an email?
-I'm sorry, I don't find emails very exciting
-Am i the ONE (all caps)??

It's always flattering when they start out with a 'hi Beautiful'...but I find those messages the most suspect. Hold on, my favorite part is coming....

-ummmm
-Blood Rushing? TMI
-Do I look like an antique?
--What?!?!!?--

It makes me wonder if this line has ever worked for him before...I mean..wow..It goes on...:

-I can tell you're new...
-How is that chinese antique line working for ya?

And...to finish....

-Waiting to 'read' from me...
-The P.S. kills me..what Lifetime movie
did he pick that up from...?

Antonio, my latin lover, is still waiting to read from me. I took screenshots of the messages and deleted them from my inbox. I still may not know what I'm looking for--but I know it's not this.

I hope you enjoyed this message as much as I did and don't forget-send me your stories! awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com. Screenshots/Pics are great but even if you just want to type it out, I'll work with it!

Have a great day!

Marriage Proposal on the First Phone Call...?

Good Morning!

I already have a user submitted story! Huzzah!

Kathy writes...:

Dear AwkwardCupid, 
I went through eharmony.  Made it through the question and got to the anonymous phone call. He talked for hours. I am a nice quite person and I wanted to know who he was. Unfortunately. he did not want to know about me or he would have asked me questions  I did tell him that I move around a lot and want to settle in AZ to be near my family. He said that was stupid. Yes, he said stupid. He was not moving away from his family. I thought "no one ask you to." Eventually he got mad at me again for looking for people so far from where I want to settle. I said at least I am not limiting myself to one town. I am looking all over the world. He did not like that. You would think that would get him off the phone but nooooo. Some time went by and he said I am not asking you to marry me BUT, if we did get married we would be perfect for each other. We are looking for the same thing in people. I thought "that only means we would be fighting over the same person" idiot.
Signed 
"I am not so easy as to marry on the first phone call"

In order to even get to the phone call part of the process you have to go through several lines of communication in the eharmony website. The point being that once you get as far as actually talking you are supposed to be compatible with each other. As it turns out, that may not always be the case. I was disillusioned enough with the process to cancel my membership (and I never even got as far as emailing anyone!)

More stories are coming! Don't forget to submit yours to: awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com

Happy Tuesday!

Nobody puts Baby in the Corner

I have active dating profiles on a few websites. These include, but are not limited to: okcupid.com, plentyoffish.com, christianmingle.com, match.com and eharmony.com. Phew. Just writing all that out makes me feel a little desperate! I paid for both match and eharmony at one point as they are useless unless you pay but all the others I have opted for the free versions. "You get what you pay for” comes to mind when I consider the quality of interactions that I have had from some of these sites. Most recently one of my more amusing set of messages came from okcupid.com.

Meet Bill*

You'd think that if I didn't respond after the second message he would move on.

You would be wrong

I certainly was flattered but I prefer the people I correspond with to be a bit more eloquent. Since he was persistent I decided to check out his profile. And I am glad I did…

A couple of thoughts:
How is one a New York native of Ghana?
He's really good at....    swimming...?

So, that was...nice? Let us read on....

Inspirational book?
Burger?
Jerry Springer Show?

FRUITS?

Wow...okay

I also "cherish quiet parties"
How does one "walk at sand"?
I'm so glad he has a great sense of humor...  =/

This is just a sliver of the amazingness that I have come across at okcupid and various other sites. I hope you liked what you read, and share it with others!

Don't leave me out there on my own! Send your screenshots and thoughts to awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com

* all names, screen names and geographic locations have been removed to protect people's privacy. I don't know what the legal ramifications of doing something like this is-but I'd rather err on the side of caution.

Online Dating Can Be Scary...and Amusing

Greetings!

Have you ever tried online dating?

Have you been horrified, yet amused by the messages you have received from the opposite sex?

Then this is the blog for you!

I have been taking screenshots from my phone for a while of the posts/messages/profiles that amuse me the most and sharing them with my friends..so, I thought-why not start a blog? I can't be the only one that has these things happen, right? So, I will be posting a few of mine to start with but the point of this is to share the horror! To know that we're not alone in this! Send me pictures/copies of your most amusing okcupid.com, plentyoffish.com, match.com...etc (you get the idea) messages and I'll post them here to share with the world! I take privacy very seriously so I will be blurring out any key geographic info or identifying features of the gentlemen in question, so no worries there. I just want this for fun, so have at it! Send me your stuff! You know you want to!

Email your pics/stories to: awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com