A change....

I have had active profiles on several free and paid dating websites. I have had a grand total of 3 "live" dates with people that I met through these websites. The amount of attention I pay to these sites, and the power I have given them to determine how I feel about myself has to change, simply put. I consistently am disappointed in the messages I receive, by a lack of any interest whatsoever..and I thought to myself..why am I putting myself through this? Don't I get enough rejection in real life? Isn't that enough? This digital version of me was becoming a burden. So. I have disabled/deleted or hidden my profile on the three major sites I was using and I don't plan on going back. It will just be a matter of time before I delete the ones that I've only disabled...I don't know why I'm holding on to them...it seems silly. Anyways, since I will no longer be active on these sites I will no longer have any fodder for this blog. It was fun while it lasted, but...it's time to move on. I'll be deleting the blog in the next week or so. (And yes, I'm still single........)

Thank you for laughing along with me...I never meant this blog to be something mean-just to point out the ridiculous...and now, it's over.

When Torsos "talk"...

I just "love" (read the irony) getting messages from men's torsos...it makes it so much easier for me to post about them....here's the latest in question...

Well, at least he thought I was cute...

And herein lies the problem I have with the whole online dating thing. There are a few reasons why things wouldn't work with this gentleman (i use the term loosely):

1) he's about ten years younger than me
2) He wants some fun possibly today/tonight? Um, last minute much? I'm a busy lady. Plus...fun? right
3) My profile clearly states that i'm not interested in that sort of momentary fun
4) He has more pics online? Maybe of his whole face? Or does he mean other things? Ew.
5) He's proud of having no kids..and owning his own place..well, congrats-me too..?


Soapbox alert (wherein I remind you that this is a personal blog and I have (gasp) opinions!)):

This kind of message is demeaning. It seems complimentary, but at the core of it-he's looking for a piece of tail, nothing more nothing less. I know that there are girls out there that are willing to stoop to this fellow's level...otherwise why would he even try it? And knowing that-makes me sad. Stop lowering your standards, ladies. You might end up alone, on your couch, eating trail mix and cuddling with your cat...but you haven't lowered yourself to someone else's creepy level.

I wrote him back, that while I appreciated his message that I was looking for something more than just a little fun.

I haven't heard back from him.

Hmm...

Shocker.

The Creepy Side of Awkward (And Safety First!)

There is definitely a creepy side to this kind of thing. I've been pretty upbeat about it, but my friends and I have received some very nasty and unwanted messages and pictures. And then every now and then you get messages from people that don't seem so bad...but then you notice something about their status....(this was from a friend of mine)

Umm...why are you on a dating website?

That's right, ladies...he's married. So, it makes perfect sense that he's on a dating website, no? I feel sorry for his wife.

On a serious note-a lot of you have told me: Hey, I hope your'e being careful with this online dating stuff. Believe me, I'm as careful as possible. I have rarely ever met anyone in person and those that I have, well..I'm not currently dating anyone, am I? That's how well those went. We always meet in a public place and my friends know where I am and check in with me. I don't know if this online dating thing is for me-for now I'm keeping the freebie ones active so I can get some fodder for this page...but that's about as far as my expectations go.

Anyways, have some awkward online dating stories you want to share? Send them to awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com All content remains anonymous!

I Don't Know..Are You?

You have to love the guys that are clearly not from America. I don't have anything against them other than this: I have a hard enough time keeping up with people that live in the same geographic area as I do. I can't imagine a foreign long distance relationship.


My favorite part of these messages though is the broken english #sorrynotsorry

Case in point:

No, sir. You're not welcomed. Sorry
(although it's nice that I'm his "dream woman")

Shirtless pics too..ugh...It's like, come on already!

Have your own awkwardcupid story? Send it to awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com

Coffee Friends Forever?

This one comes from one of our readers. Please do not be alarmed at the blurring of this gentleman caller's face-I do not want to use his image without his permission and, as she opted to not contact him back, well...there we are...

Ummm...no. Just..no...

Make sure you send me your awkward cupids! We know we can't be alone in this! Send them to awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com I promise I will make it as anonymous as possible...unless you want your name out there-then all bets are off!

Well, That Escalated Quickly

I got this message, please pay attention to the information at the top...

He didn't even give me a chance to respond...!

Oh well...win some, lose some...

Let's go on a "fancy date"

This next one comes from a friend of mine..and I'll let the screenshot do most of the talking...

I really truly hope he was trying to be funny...

If this is what passes for 'romance' these days...may the Lord have mercy on us all!

I'm 'Special' and possibly from China

I haven't decided yet how often I want to post these things-but I do have quite a few stored up and I'm eager to share them with you! I hope you are coming up with your favorite awkward online dating stories. Send them to me to share with the world, so we can all commiserate together! Strength in numbers, right? Email them to: awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com


Okay, on to today's story. We shall call him Antonio! I received this message in my okcupid.com message box:

-It got him 'excited' to send me an email?
-I'm sorry, I don't find emails very exciting
-Am i the ONE (all caps)??

It's always flattering when they start out with a 'hi Beautiful'...but I find those messages the most suspect. Hold on, my favorite part is coming....

-ummmm
-Blood Rushing? TMI
-Do I look like an antique?
--What?!?!!?--

It makes me wonder if this line has ever worked for him before...I mean..wow..It goes on...:

-I can tell you're new...
-How is that chinese antique line working for ya?

And...to finish....

-Waiting to 'read' from me...
-The P.S. kills me..what Lifetime movie
did he pick that up from...?

Antonio, my latin lover, is still waiting to read from me. I took screenshots of the messages and deleted them from my inbox. I still may not know what I'm looking for--but I know it's not this.

I hope you enjoyed this message as much as I did and don't forget-send me your stories! awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com. Screenshots/Pics are great but even if you just want to type it out, I'll work with it!

Have a great day!

Marriage Proposal on the First Phone Call...?

Good Morning!

I already have a user submitted story! Huzzah!

Kathy writes...:

Dear AwkwardCupid, 
I went through eharmony.  Made it through the question and got to the anonymous phone call. He talked for hours. I am a nice quite person and I wanted to know who he was. Unfortunately. he did not want to know about me or he would have asked me questions  I did tell him that I move around a lot and want to settle in AZ to be near my family. He said that was stupid. Yes, he said stupid. He was not moving away from his family. I thought "no one ask you to." Eventually he got mad at me again for looking for people so far from where I want to settle. I said at least I am not limiting myself to one town. I am looking all over the world. He did not like that. You would think that would get him off the phone but nooooo. Some time went by and he said I am not asking you to marry me BUT, if we did get married we would be perfect for each other. We are looking for the same thing in people. I thought "that only means we would be fighting over the same person" idiot.
Signed 
"I am not so easy as to marry on the first phone call"

In order to even get to the phone call part of the process you have to go through several lines of communication in the eharmony website. The point being that once you get as far as actually talking you are supposed to be compatible with each other. As it turns out, that may not always be the case. I was disillusioned enough with the process to cancel my membership (and I never even got as far as emailing anyone!)

More stories are coming! Don't forget to submit yours to: awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com

Happy Tuesday!

Nobody puts Baby in the Corner

I have active dating profiles on a few websites. These include, but are not limited to: okcupid.com, plentyoffish.com, christianmingle.com, match.com and eharmony.com. Phew. Just writing all that out makes me feel a little desperate! I paid for both match and eharmony at one point as they are useless unless you pay but all the others I have opted for the free versions. "You get what you pay for” comes to mind when I consider the quality of interactions that I have had from some of these sites. Most recently one of my more amusing set of messages came from okcupid.com.

Meet Bill*

You'd think that if I didn't respond after the second message he would move on.

You would be wrong

I certainly was flattered but I prefer the people I correspond with to be a bit more eloquent. Since he was persistent I decided to check out his profile. And I am glad I did…

A couple of thoughts:
How is one a New York native of Ghana?
He's really good at....    swimming...?

So, that was...nice? Let us read on....

Inspirational book?
Burger?
Jerry Springer Show?

FRUITS?

Wow...okay

I also "cherish quiet parties"
How does one "walk at sand"?
I'm so glad he has a great sense of humor...  =/

This is just a sliver of the amazingness that I have come across at okcupid and various other sites. I hope you liked what you read, and share it with others!

Don't leave me out there on my own! Send your screenshots and thoughts to awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com

* all names, screen names and geographic locations have been removed to protect people's privacy. I don't know what the legal ramifications of doing something like this is-but I'd rather err on the side of caution.

Online Dating Can Be Scary...and Amusing

Greetings!

Have you ever tried online dating?

Have you been horrified, yet amused by the messages you have received from the opposite sex?

Then this is the blog for you!

I have been taking screenshots from my phone for a while of the posts/messages/profiles that amuse me the most and sharing them with my friends..so, I thought-why not start a blog? I can't be the only one that has these things happen, right? So, I will be posting a few of mine to start with but the point of this is to share the horror! To know that we're not alone in this! Send me pictures/copies of your most amusing okcupid.com, plentyoffish.com, match.com...etc (you get the idea) messages and I'll post them here to share with the world! I take privacy very seriously so I will be blurring out any key geographic info or identifying features of the gentlemen in question, so no worries there. I just want this for fun, so have at it! Send me your stuff! You know you want to!

Email your pics/stories to: awkwardcupidstories@gmail.com